While I’m Sleeping

Hi Husband. For me, the operation will pass in a blink. For you…well, it warms me to know you’ll be praying, that you love me, and that you’ll still think me pretty even with my red badge of courage. Since I can’t travel into the future to take a picture of our next meeting, I found this. You’re the one with hair, which is terribly inaccurate. I’m the one about to wake up and see my very best friend. Accurate.

I love that we have a rich and long history that goes back to when we were kids, how you saw me singing “Silver Bells” in fifth grade. I remember the sting of your thigh against mine, crushed as we were four-across the backseat of Tony’s mom’s car. All of twelve years old. That same year you ran next to me in my first 5K. No bib, you just did it for fun. Fun?! I knew you were crazy, even then. My dad called you Blob, and he brought you to visit me at gymnastics camp, a two-hour drive.

Almost, I pushed you off the chicken coop roof but pulled you back. Maybe that was the secret to winning you: ever after you associated me with the thrill of adrenaline and the near-miss. If my time right now—this brain tumor—is a near miss, we will count ourselves blessed. And we who know Jesus are blessed even when circumstances say otherwise. We’re blessed to know a love without fear. Blessed to know the kindness of family and friends. To know a peace that passes all understanding. To know forgiveness. God perfected our love for one another and He continues to be perfect. We wore Genesis around our necks long before we believed it. I lost my half of the mizpah, but not the man. Thank God, not the man. And now I keep Genesis in my heart where I can never lose it. It’s crowded in my heart these past few weeks. My head is like a spotlight, showing me all the things I love in the world.

As kids, we spent many nights on the phone talking until my ear hurt. Even when we were far apart traveling separate journeys, we knew a closeness that defied miles. I have a feeling that now, in the waiting room, you feel farther apart than ever before. That’s why I made you this, to bring us a little bit closer. See this picture of us? In my best, most God-trusting place, I see us here again. You’ve been God’s best gift to me, and I love the family we’ve made together. See you soon.


And He said to them … truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. – Matthew 17:20



10 thoughts on “While I’m Sleeping

  1. peglovesjesus

    Beautiful! I’m in tears. Trusting and praying you and Bob will enjoy many, many more happy, healthy years together. Love you!

  2. Karen

    Beautiful faith filled post ! Reminds me of the book “ you gotta keep dancing “ .. choosing joy /thankfulness regardless of circumstances is a true testimony.
    Thank you for sharing.

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